


Two boys.

by Clovesstory



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Do not post to another site, Drug Use, F/M, Falling In Love, M/M, Post Season 3, Pseudo-Incest, so much hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 10:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20487107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clovesstory/pseuds/Clovesstory
Summary: Justin and Clay mushy happy boys <3 Save the precious beans!!





	Two boys.

Slowly, the favourite thing that Justin longed to do was watch Clay sleeping. Not in a creepy way, although Justin knew he was becoming slightly insane. There was something about him. The way he is so relaxed and open, nothing is hidden. 

This is Justin's Clay. The one he sees when Clay is drawing little characters in his notebook or at the spring fling when he headed to the dance floor alone to his and Hannah's song. He likes the socially awkward Clay that stumbles over his words and drops his books when someone comes up behind him. 

Justin knows the determined Clay who tackled him in an alley. He knows the caring Clay who helped him with his addiction. 

He wipes his arm, the skin a little bruised from his last attempt to get high. He was shaking so hard that all he managed to do was cry out from the ache. All he can think of since that moment is how much he'd rather have Clay's hand on him, Clay's head on his chest to listen to the slow heartbeat that occurs when the drugs enter his system. 

He isn't sure when it happened, but he didn't fight it, he wanted to feel that again. That feeling when you fall, when you sink into that warmth, when you dream of that person who sets your heart on fire. A whole different kind of high. 

Those ragged old converse come into vision. "Why are you on the floor?" 

Justin looks up, his heart melting at the sweet confused look on Clay's face. "Uhh. Just enjoying the hard stretch in my muscles." 

Clay being well, Clay, simply shrugs and flops down on his bed. Justin imagines that thud and groan of springs in another context. Now he really can't get up. 

"It's been one of those days." Clay says, his head falling back on the pillows. He stares at the ceiling, his limbs flailing with a yell. 

Clay is prone to panic attacks, it's all part of his anxiety. Justin knows this and he knows this will get worse before it gets better. He stands up from the floor and perches on the edge of Clay's bed. Clay covers his face his both hands, his small sobs falling from his lips, his skin still scratched from previous events. It really bothers Justin when he can see the pain on Clay's face. But the worst is, Justin remembers when he was the cause of it. He can't ever forget. 

Clay turns on to his side, an automatic response to his heart rate rising and his breathing stuttering. Justin has seen this before, he doesn't know if it helps but he puts a steady hand on Clay's hip. He takes his time, letting his brain cool down and his breathing even out. He's gotten far better since Hannah's memorial. Far more focused and understanding of his own rhythm and his own body. He started seeing that doctor again, the one who encourages him to be free. Justin likes her. 

Clay looks over at Justin, he nods at his friend with a little smile. Justin attempts to be comforting, words were never his thing.

"Was it about Hannah?" 

Clay's face is pale, his eyes empty, no sparkle. Every time he thinks about her he feels sick, even though he let her go. "No. No it wasn't. It was about.. a friend. Don't worry about it. I'm fine." Clay starts to sit up, but Justin puts his hand on Clay's chest, his fingers slightly bunching the fabric. Clay's slim form trembles under Justin's hand. That pure innocence is so beautiful. Justin's head is dropped down, he can't look at Clay's stunning expression. 

"Clay. I always worry about you, I can't help it." 

"Wh-Why?" 

"I can't.. explain. You wouldn't understand. Just forget it." Justin pushes Clay away, both physically and mentally. He knows this is the worst idea, his feelings can't be explained and they won't be accepted. His friends, his family and his classmates won't understand but that's okay. It's really okay, Justin doesn't care anymore about his image or even his friends. But, the one person he cares about, won't accept those feelings either.

"Justin.." 

He doesn't think, thinking is overrated. He leans in, his lips touching Clay's in the softest gesture. He couldn't stop, he didn't want to, especially when he felt those sweet lips kissing him back. Clay was kissing back. Justin pulls back, he doesn't want to stop but he needs to know. "Are you… is this.. um. You aren't just kissing me because you are too scared to reject me are you?" 

"No. No.." Clay shakes his head and clears his throat. "No. I wanted it, I didn't realise how much." 

"Why? Because I'm a broken soul but a good kisser?" Justin sits up and looks away, his arms wrapping around his legs. He's so used to deflecting, pushing everyone away. 

Clay knows this. He never thought about how much he paid attention to Justin, his friend. Or perhaps, previously his friend. "I don't want to be apart from you." 

Justin's heart flutters at the words, hearing something as sweet from his lips. "Do you mean it?" 

"I do. Would I ever lie to you Justin? " Clay chuckles and nudges Justin's shoulder with his own. They sit right next to each other, any closer and Clay would be on Justin's lap. 

"I wonder what would happen if I did.." Justin takes Clay's hand in his own, their fingers slowly joining together. "This." 

Clay blushes and plays with Justin's fingers, his head resting on Justin's shoulder. "You're so cute when you're flustered." 

"Shut up!" 

The two giggle nervously, their shoulders bumping. 

“What happens at school?” Clay rests his head on Justin’s shoulder, his heart pounding in his chest, Justin won’t want to ruin his reputation. 

“I don’t care, I don’t fucking care. Let them talk. Let them see how fucking happy you make me. Let them see your hand in mine.” Justin brings Clay’s hand to his lips and kisses it. They both giggle and blush, it’s so more mushy than how they were before and the funny thing is, it doesn’t feel weird. It feels normal. 

“Then let’s do it.” 

  
  


Such a rare smile graces Justin’s face, a real smile. Clay hasn’t seen something so beautiful since his first love. Maybe this is his second chance, he’s not letting go this time. 


End file.
